Why counselling? In today’s fast-paced world having a space to process thoughts and emotions can feel like a breath of fresh air. As a counsellor, my role is not to solve your problems for you. It is to walk alongside you as you navigate your own journey. Every session is an opportunity to create a safe, non-judgmental environment where you can speak freely, explore vulnerabilities, and discover pathways forward. Here, I’d like to share what goes on behind the scenes as a counsellor and how I approach sessions to facilitate meaningful and impactful experiences.  

More than Just Listening  

When clients first come for counselling, they often arrive with a range of emotions: anxiety, hope, uncertainty, or perhaps even reluctance. The first step in my role as a counsellor is to acknowledge these feelings and understand that each individual has unique experiences. My role involves far more than just listening. I’m here to provide active guidance, psychological insights, and gentle challenges that encourage clients to look at situations from different perspectives. My goal is to facilitate self-understanding, empower resilience, and support the client’s capacity to make decisions that best serve their personal growth.  

Establishing Trust and Building a Therapeutic Relationship  

Counselling is deeply rooted in trust. One of the primary foundations of effective counselling is establishing a therapeutic relationship built on mutual respect and understanding. The initial sessions often focus on rapport-building, where I encourage the client to share openly and honestly. In these moments, I am mindful to validate their feelings and experiences without imposing my own judgments. Creating an atmosphere of respect, empathy, and safety helps clients feel comfortable enough to open up about their innermost thoughts, worries, and dreams.  

A large part of my work is being fully present in every session, offering undivided attention. This can involve mindful body language, making eye contact, and avoiding any distractions. This signals to the client that they are heard and valued. This can often be transformative for those who feel overlooked or misunderstood in other parts of their lives.  

The Importance of Impartiality and Non-Judgment in Counselling  

One of the fundamental ethical standards in counselling is to approach each client without judgment or bias. This impartiality allows clients to feel safe, regardless of their actions, thoughts, or emotions. Being impartial means that I suspend any personal judgments and work with clients from a place of openness. This does not mean I am indifferent to their challenges; rather, it means I aim to view their situations objectively, helping them gain clarity without feeling as though they need to justify or defend themselves.  

This approach is particularly crucial when clients discuss sensitive topics, such as relationship challenges, trauma, or issues with self-esteem. For many, these subjects can carry a lot of shame or fear of being judged. However, through impartiality, I show clients that all their experiences, feelings, and decisions are valid and worthy of exploration. With time, this lack of judgment encourages clients to engage more openly in self-reflection, aiding in their healing process.  

Structuring a Session: A Balance of Structure and Flexibility  

Each counselling session is unique, tailored to the client’s immediate needs and ongoing progress. Typically, sessions begin with a gentle check-in. This helps to set the tone, allowing the client to express anything particularly pressing or significant since the last session. Some clients may come in with specific issues or goals they want to work on, while others may feel unsure or overwhelmed by emotions that they can’t yet articulate.  

 Throughout the session, I balance guidance with flexibility, often using therapeutic techniques like cognitive-behavioural exercises, reflective questioning, or mindfulness practices, depending on the client’s needs and preferences. For instance, with clients struggling with anxiety, I might introduce grounding techniques to help them manage intense emotions. For those exploring complex past experiences, I may use reflective listening to help them delve deeper into their feelings and understand patterns in their behaviour.  

Sessions often end with a brief recap, highlighting insights and progress, and sometimes establishing small, realistic goals for the week always driven by the client. This structure not only provides a sense of closure but also leaves clients feeling empowered, with practical takeaways to apply to their daily lives.  

Embracing Empathy While Maintaining Professional Boundaries   

Empathy is at the core of every counselling relationship. To truly understand a client’s experience, I aim to see the world through their eyes, acknowledging their struggles and pain. However, it’s essential to maintain professional boundaries to ensure that empathy does not compromise objectivity. I strive to strike a balance between empathising with clients’ emotions and staying focused on facilitating their journey toward self-discovery and growth.  

A common misconception is that counsellors become emotionally invested to the point of being affected by clients’ experiences. In reality, while we feel deep compassion for our clients, we’re trained to manage our emotions in a way that maintains a clear focus on the client’s needs. This approach allows me to stay grounded and provide unbiased support, ensuring that clients’ sessions remain centred around their unique journey, not my own reactions.  

Dealing with Resistance and Building Self-Efficacy  

Sometimes, clients may feel resistance during sessions, particularly when confronting challenging emotions or acknowledging difficult truths. This resistance is a natural part of the therapeutic process and often signals areas where deeper work can be valuable. As a counsellor, I respect clients’ pace and never push them beyond what they feel ready to explore. Instead, I gently encourage them to sit with these feelings, offering support and understanding as they move through them. 

One of my ultimate goals as a counsellor is to foster self-efficacy—the client’s belief in their ability to handle life’s challenges. By helping clients recognise their strengths and build coping skills, they can become more resilient and confident in managing future difficulties. This empowerment process is often one of the most rewarding aspects of counselling, both for the client and myself, as I witness their growth and sense of empowerment.  

The Counsellor’s Journey: Lifelong Learning and Self-Care  

Counselling is a field that requires continuous learning and self-reflection. Every client brings unique experiences, challenges, and strengths, which means I’m always learning from each person I work with. Professional development, supervision, and regular training are essential aspects of my practice, ensuring that I’m equipped with the latest tools and techniques to provide the highest quality of care. I’m also registered with a professional body – the British Association of Counsellors and Psychotherapists (BACP) 

Self-care is also crucial for counsellors, as maintaining our emotional health allows us to remain present and effective in our work. Techniques such as mindfulness, journaling, or peer support are ways I personally practice self-care to stay grounded, focused, and refreshed for each client session.  

Final Thoughts: Counselling as a Collaborative Journey  

At its core, counselling is a collaborative journey. As a counsellor, my role is not to provide answers but to guide clients as they uncover their own truths and solutions. Every session is a step toward greater self-awareness, healing, and growth. I’m honoured to accompany my clients on this journey.  

In a world where judgment and pressure are often prevalent, counselling offers a rare and invaluable space of empathy, impartiality, and understanding. Here, individuals can confront and work through their challenges with dignity and respect. It’s this transformative power of counselling—this commitment to a non-judgmental, empathetic relationship—that makes the work so profoundly impactful, both for the client and for me as a counsellor.  

Phoenix Health and Wellbeing is a charitable social enterprise based in Leeds, West Yorkshire. We offer support in the form of counselling, acupuncture and massage therapies to people who are referred to us by medical professionals, due to their chronic health issues and low incomes. We direct all of the proceeds of our main service towards this charitable work. By using our services you are helping us to continue with this life enhancing support.   

Find out more about our work here or view our counselling team or make a booking  

Opening times:   

Monday to Thursday: 10.00 to 20.00  

Friday: 10.00 to 16.00  

Saturday: 10.00 to 14.00