Do you ever take time to reflect on the year that is just passing?  It is something that we seldom do but also something that can really help us to learn and move forwards in our lives. 

Why reflect?

Reflective practice has become a key element in education.  Our counsellors and complementary therapists have learned the process of reflective practice and build this into their requirements for continuing professional development. 

In healthcare education, and wider life, “reflective practice offers a means by which we can identify our strengths and weaknesses and specific learning needs to continue the journey of life-long learning.”

Reflecting on the year encourages you to think about the highs and the lows and ask yourself questions as to how those times made you feel, how you reacted, and how you could resolve any remaining issues.  Learning from our behaviour and experience is a great way to try to maximise the positive and minimise the negative elements in our lives.

Let’s get started

Set the scene

Set aside time and space for reflection. Plan a morning, afternoon or evening and put it in your diary like you would any other important appointment. Before you start the process of reflecting make sure your surroundings are calm and comfortable and that you won’t be disturbed.  If you think better with background music then pop on a playlist to accompany your thoughts. If you prefer silence, then go with that.  What about refreshments? Perhaps start with a cup of tea or commit to taking a break after a period of time to get yourself a treat.

Get a pen and paper – maybe a notebook bought for the purpose – and settle in.  

Start at the macro level

It is really difficult to think of a whole year as a totality.  You won’t be able to remember everything but just think of one word that you think reflects the last 12 months. I start with this thought and just reflect on it for a while. Then I move from the negative to the positive but we are all different and you need to find what works for you – you might prefer to start positive or reflect on the year on a month by month basis. Also bear in mind that you can always revisit each section and add more details as you go along. Some thinking further down the line might trigger a memory that is important to capture.

Here’s what I do:

What felt uncomfortable or difficult?

Think about what you have found difficult this year?  Don’t compare yourself to others just think about your own experience.  It doesn’t matter whether your list is long or short as long as it represents what was difficult for you.

Did you learn from the difficult times?

Think about the difficult times.  Did you learn from them? You may have learnt that you need to be kinder to yourself, manage a relationship differently or review your work or career. These lessons can all help you to see what is really important to you.

There may be some difficult times that aren’t yet resolved. Can you see what your preferred outcome would be? How do you get to that?

Relationships – positive or not so?

Now think about your relationships. Your relationships with your family, friends and partners as well as colleagues. Some will be positive and uplifting while others will be less so.  Think about the relationships that helped you and made you feel better.  What is it about those relationships that is positive?  How can you increase the positive relationships in your life. 

Also think about the relationships that don’t make you feel good. What is it about them that feels negative? Can you think of ways to improve these relationships?

What things or events made you happy?

Think of all of the times that you genuinely felt happy in the last year.  What was it that made you happy?  What made you laugh out loud or really feel uplifted? Did you discover a new hobby that brought you happiness or spend time laughing with a friend?  If you struggle to think of things here looking back through your social media might help.

Can you take learnings from the good times?

Reflect on why the good times brought you happiness.  What was it about those times? Was something happening that uplifted you? If so, can you build more of this into your life? Are there any common threads running through these good times – perhaps the same group of friends are involved or the same location?

Moving forwards into the New Year?

Take a break and grab some refreshment. Now come back to your reflections. Do they still represent your thoughts and feelings? Is there anything that you need to add?

Look through your notes to see if you can find common ground.  List the common threads and think about the impact that each had on you.  If you have a long list you may need to focus in on a manageable number.  I try to focus on no more than three positives and three negatives.  Now thinking of each in turn ask yourself how you can adjust your life to include more of the positive elements and fewer of the negative.  Obviously, life isn’t always easy and it certainly isn’t simple so don’t agonise over things that you can’t change. Move on to the things that you can alter and be realistic!

Finally commit to change

Work towards producing an achievable action plan. Again, don’t beat yourself up about this. If you manage to make one positive change as a result of your reflective practice it will be a great achievement. Even small changes can make a big impact.

So try reflective practice and here’s to a happy and healthy 2023

Phoenix Health & Wellbeing is a charitable social enterprise.  By coming to us for a treatment or counselling session or using our services to support your team you are helping people who have chronic health issues and low incomes. We use the proceeds of our services to subsidise those who would not otherwise be able to access our therapies. Roughly £4 to every £10 spent with us will go to help others.

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